Well I was thinking more about goals than life period. Everyone has a goal. Some are easier to achieve than others but everyone has at least one. One of my major ones, for instance, is comedy writing. I really want to do that. I appreciate the art the goes sinto a good sketch or a good joke and that's something I'm really interested in doing and learning more about. Now I know I'm not the first person to want to do that, and to follow that dream would be a huge leap of faith. How do I now I'm any good at it? How do I know if others will enjoy what I write? How do even start it? I hear a lot of comedians say just do. You have to start somewhere and there is no such thing as waiting for 'the right moment' to chase a dream. And this of course applies to anyone who is on a mission to do something that they're not sure if it'll turn out for the better. There are a million people in the world who have taken that leap and gotten no where. Is it because they don't have the drive to do it? Do they not have the skills? Are they just bad at what they do? How do you know if you're one of those people that aren't gonna make it? Did you just waste your time taking that leap? Who is to say that you will be any better than the next guy? I know this is a bit of a pestimistic way of thinking but these questions are kind of valid.
Would you rather try and fail and face rejection or
be insecure about your potential but be safe from failure?
These are of course rhetorical questions I don't expect you to have answers lol
Gosh thats a lot of words.
Lol I actually just finished a post that I dedicated to our conversation and alot of what I said there can be used here, though its about love and shit.
But me, I get discouraged kind of easily. I would LOVE to do comedy writing. My friends and alot of people tell me im funny and I laugh at myself alot (not to sound vain) but its something I enjoy. Making people feel good, period is an amazing feeling for me. Which is why I think i’m such a good person, I try a little bit harder to please the people around me (to a point)
I’ve been wanting to do standup forevs. I always told my bestfriends back home “im gonna drop out of SCAD and do standup” and I was never serious until I realized I needed a new outlet because drawing wasn’t cutting it. So one day, I decided I was gonna legit do standup at a future talent show, and I was excited. One night 2 months ago I just opened up Notepad and just straight wrote a whole routine in one sitting. I was proud of myself and I thought it was funny.
(It didnt save)
and I told my roommate about it and he wanted to hear it but I no longer had it and even so I was afraid to try because for some reason, letting it be known that you are gonna try and be funny is harder than acutally just being funny. So later that night I was feeling froggy again and I just rewrote it with new stuff and it felt good. And an open mic was coming up but I pussied out.
So I said I would do one of the many others that my bookstore has
I pussy out.
And when the talent show comes around (if its not too late already) im gonna pussy out.
Its best to just do shit. Don’t talk, do shit.
Because if I ever did half the shit I said I was gonna do I would be a married-skinny-famous comic-comedian-tattoo-artist-gourmet chef but I talk myself out of things so I dont have to deal with the disappoint (i’ve been let down alot in recent monts)
so if I was ever ready for that, I would just jump in and you’ll either make it, or not make it. But never give up on your goals and aspirations.
Rarely do people ever meet there goal initially. It takes dedication
So I told theotherkindofnerd one night that I would love to have a deep conversation with her about life but I had to go to bed and I she was owed a conversation.
tonight is kind of the same deal but I figure I could offer a pre-post or jumping off post for whatever our conversation may be about.
Let’s see what comes off the top of the dome.
love and shit.
I speak on love and shit alot but I always find myself learning somethng new everyday.
Today, I learned that even after I have stopped believing and having hope for my true love to come back others may still have hope for me/us.
I had already gone through (many times) the dealings of forgetting about what may be, forgetting whether I truly believed she was the one and just…moving on.
I’m stuck at a spot where its hard for me to move on but i’m ALMOST there.
But today, I spoke to a very kind and beautiful lady from my past who told me that she was never more sure about anything than knowing we are meant to be together.
It was weird.
Cause I thought I was the only one in the world who believed that and now I don’t feel so alone.
But I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore, you can only get your hopes on that you’ll get that metallic power ranger for christmas so much until your parents just tell you there is no santa claus and you get socks.
So I wonder if she’s right. But I can’t give myself that kind of false hope anymore.
I had to deal with people telling me it wasn’t going to happen, even when I knew it was
I had to deal with people looking down on me if I let it happen, even though I knew I wanted it to.
And now i’m dealing with moving on, even though I don’t want to.
There are so many times in a day where I go into a shop or store or restruant and I see a pretty girl and shes giving me the eye or vice versa and then BAM! “I like your shirt” “I like your wallet”
(Marvel characters/im on a boat/leonardo wallet respectively)
and I say outloud to Cass “She can get it”
but then I say to myself, “she’s really pretty. But she’s not as beautiful as she was”
or “She’s sooo hot. She was probably just being nice and sweet. Forever alone”
I wish I just had that Mel Gibson What Women Want mind reading shit. Just for like, a day. Just to know what women were thinking. Just to know what they believed.
So one of my friends on facebook posted this and I dont know if any of you have ever heard of it but its called “likealittle”
and essentially you kind of go there and fill out what you like about a person that you don’t have the nads to tell them in person and you just fill out their sex, hair and where you see/interact with them and you post it anonymously to the site.
At first hearing about it I thought it would be uber stalkerish but I went to it and its actually kind of adorable <3
I’m just in an “eh” mood. I want to lay in bed and watch Major Payne then do homework a little later but I want to go see LB and Mr. B before they leave Savannah so Im gonna go do that in a little while.
Before last night I hadn’t seen then in 3 years so it was really nice seeing them. I didnt everytime I was home and I didnt before they moved and I probably wont until they come back to Savannah again.
I was really nervous going to see them last night because i figured LB would bring stuff I didnt necessarily want to talk about up. But she didn’t, neither did Pops. Not even close. I told LB I wasn’t really going home and she didnt question it so I guess she understood why.
I’m 21 years old you know.
in the eyes of the world im an adult but I dont feel like it yet.
Its easy to call yourself an adult but its hard to be one.
But truth is, im afraid.
Thats why my portfolio isn’t together, that’s why I don’t want to move to Atlanta or Cali or New york, that’s why im not going home.
And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I…. Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna…..
Peace love ecstasy, peace love ecstasy, peace love ecstasy, unity, respect. Peace love ecstasy, peace love ecstasy, peace love ecstasy, unity, respect.
I’m getting tired and sweaty But I still wanna touch it if you let me Because we hugged a few times, it was special And when we work it all night cause it’s pumpin’, and you were special. And you were special…
My hand slipped into your hand, and it was awesome, and you were special My hand slipped into your hand, and it was awesome, and you were special